Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lovesthedrug's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, August 25th, 2007
8:12 pm	Today I think I can officially say I have had the worst day! I've binged like craaazy! Then the fucking gym decided to close! aargh! Lost 6 pounds over the last few days so was down to 114 but put a few back on so i dunno what I weigh now. anyway its all a bit crap x (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 8th, 2007
5:45 pm	Havent post for a while but i think its cos i feel guilty because im doing things so badly .. not jst weight stuff either. like my whole fucking life has gone crap! aargh watever i reali need to go and exersise or something to get it out of my system! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
8:24 pm	Updated survey As you can see back to original weight aargh The Important Stuff Age: 16 Weight: 116 Heighest Weight: 120 Lowest Weight: 105 Current Weight: 116 Goal Weight : 98 Fave food : Rice Fave Drink : Diet Coke and Iced Tea Fave Exercise : Gym (cross trainer bikes running etc) Thinspo : Mary Kate Nicole and Gemma Ward Where do you slip up? evenings especially whilst watching TV When did it start? a couple of years ago Why did it start? duno Does Anyone know? no Do you want help? no Diet pills? used to fave binge food: anything thats there Fave dieting food: apples grapes and salad How many cals do you consume a day? try and stay under 400 What tips do you use to lose weight? eating as little as possible exersing as much as possible What do you see when you look in the mirror? ewwww Are you in a relationship? no If so, Do they pressure you to be thin? - Are you the fat or thin one out of your friends? in the middle Are you depressed? sometimes Do you self harm? used to Ever tried to commit suicide? no Ever been to a psychologist?? no Fave song? cannonball - damien rice CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! (Comment on this)
Friday, March 9th, 2007
10:44 pm	I am feeling very determined and focused right now. I'm making my acting dreams come true by enrolling in drama school in september!!! ahh i cant wait. They get you agents there and hopefully if I have the talent I'll get an agent then I can join Spotlight and really begin my career. Omg never been so sure of my future before in my life!!! This is also helping my diet. I dont feel the teeniest bit hungry, I'm too focused and I know getting thin will help my confidence when I'm performing so it gives starving myself a bonus for once. Ok so this is it, my mew regime I'm going to stick to: Breakfast: None Morning Break (wen at school): Apple Lunch: Salad or Soup Dinner: Brown rice and steamed veg/Fish and veg/Small portion of chicken and veg 100 sit ups per night + Gyming every sunday morning + Yoga once a week + Dance once a week. If I stick to that (wich i wil and have to) I should lose! Wish me luck! xxoooxx (Comment on this)
Monday, February 26th, 2007
11:58 am	thinspo I've been looking at a lot of thinspo recently and I've stuck pictures of celebs all over my walls for inspiration. I think its really helping. I also find having pictures of famous guys inspires me to be thin aswel so i hav looads up. My favee people ever are MK, Nicole Richie, Gemma Ward, Brittany Murphy. They are all so skinny. I envy them. xox (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
9:04 pm	ommmmmg havent writen in my journal for suuch a long time! it feels soo good to be back. im sick, reallt sick and it sucks cos i feel like crapp! BUT i havent eaten atall for like 3 days so hopefully lost some weight and i refuse to put it back on. i think this could be some good motivation for me. love xxx (Comment on this)
Monday, August 14th, 2006
6:50 pm	Shitt I realised I havent written in my journal for fucking aggges! Havent lost that much I must admit cos iv been slacking quite a bit but right now I am reali motivated to get down to 98 lbs by the end of the summer. xxxx (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
10:36 pm	The Important Stuff Age: 15 Weight: 116 lbs Heighest Weight: 120 lbs Lowest Weight: 105 lbs Current Weight: 116 lbs Goal Weight : 98 lbs Fave food : strawberries Fave Drink : diet coke Fave Exercise : athletics, cross trainer, running Thinspo : Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie Where do you slip up? Usually when I get back from school I cant stop but eat or when I'm watching TV When did it start? I guess in March Why did it start? I woke up to what I really looked like and people were saying I'd put on weight .etc. and I freaked Does Anyone know? Nope Do you want help? Nope Diet pills? Yes - adios fave binge food: Toast Fave dieting food: Lettuce and Weetabix How many cals do you consume a day? I try to stay under 200 What tips do you use to lose weight? Taking a food and cutting it into 6 sections - have 2 for breakfast, lunch and dinner so your body thinks your having 3 meals What do you see when you look in the mirror? A girl whos too fat and short and unhappy. It makes me cry Are you in a relationship? No If so, Do they pressure you to be thin? - Are you the fat or thin one out of your friends? Most of them are pretty skinny, I hate it Are you depressed? Yeah Do you self harm? Yeah Ever tried to commit suicide? Nope Ever been to a psychologist?? Nope Fave song? She falls asleep part 2/Mcfly CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 1st, 2006
10:46 pm	Okay well i thort i shud write in my journal so Im going to. I feel like everything I do there is somthing trying to stop me doing it. I feel like every time Is succeed something comes and screws it up! It drives me mad cos nothing can ever go right without something else going wrong! Sometimes I wish my life wasnt hard! Love me xoxox (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 15th, 2006
6:49 pm	SCHOOL Well thats all as bad as it always is. In trouble everything damn second of the day. Failing everything. In detention every fucking week. I hate it with a passion. FRIENDS Like the only part of my life i like. I adore my friends although I wish I could talk to them they just dont understand me. But its still nice to have them around. LOVE Terrible. I like a lot of people rite now but i cant have any of them cos there all taken and then the people who like me (or say they love me wateva) i dont like. Im bad in relationships they just arent for me. I always fuck them up with my stupid trust issues. PARENTS Completely fucked. I hat my dad more than anything. Hes a gambling addict who fucked around my mums back and wrecked our family and now he refuses to give us any money and i mite have to leave my school becoz of him. And as for my mother, i love her to bits but shes trying to ship me off to australia. I dont wanna go. Im english and i need england. I love it to much. I worry about her. I reali think shes in a ditch in her life i can see her spiraling out of control. FOOD I went from eating like a normal person to eating to much to eating nothing atall. I hate that this is what I have to do to get skinny again but its just the way it has to be. Fasting didnt seem to be working so now i eat weetabix in the morning (20 cals) with skimmed milk (v little) and no lunch then i have whatever dinner is in a very small amount then i take a slimming tablet afterwards. Seems to be working well at the moment. Anyway at the moment im at 114 but im on a journey down to 98. Wish me luck. THE END X (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
5:12 pm	Slowly but surely! YAY! Ah i love the summer! I always am so preoccupied i never think about eating in the summer! LOVE X (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
9:11 pm	gah didnt work! .... hope this one does! (Comment on this)
9:06 pm	[url=http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/] [img]http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar-blue2/slider-but7/lb/120/98/116/.png[/img] [/url] Yay! Im getting there! LOVE X (Comment on this)
Monday, May 8th, 2006
6:51 pm	I am so angry rite now!!!! I CUD ACTUALLY KILL SOMEONE!! How the fuck can you go from 114 to 120 lbs in 1 day!! I literally ate nothing! How did this happen!! Uuuuuuuurgh! LOVE X (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 7th, 2006
7:05 pm	1. Current Height: 5'4" 2. Current Weight: 116 4. Lowest weight at current height: 112 5. Highest weight at current height: 118 6. Pants size: 6/8 7. Top size: 6/8 8. Have you ever been diagnosed with an eating disorder? No 9. How often do you weigh yourself? 2 or three times a day 10. Have you cried after weighing yourself/trying on clothes? Yes. so upsetting 11. If you could change any body part(s), what would you choose? My legs are fattt and my flabby stomach 12. What body type do you have: Very small on top (bust, waist, shoulders .etc.) i think my hips are quite big and my legs are just uuuuuurgh 13. How happy would you say you are with your body as it is right at this moment? Sometimes i think its okay but mostly makes me want to cry and scream and smash things 14. Have you been made fun of because of your weight? Nope 15. Did it contribute to how you feel about yourself now? If someone callled me fat it would definately motivate me a lot. but they havent 16. Does it take you a long time to find something that looks halfway decent on you? Sometimes it does but i tend to breath in all the time now and were trousers to hide the obesity that is my legs 17. If you could make yourself any weight, what number would you choose? 96 lbs 18. What celebrity, in your opinion, has the perfect body? Mary Kate Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss, Nicole Richie 19. Other than physical appearance, how do you feel about yourself? Hate my nose but other than that okay 20. Do you think you'd be happier about yourself if you were comfortable with your weight? Yes definately! i would have soooo much more self confidence 21. If you could would you leave ana/mia? No way i coulsnt cope without the support and motivation :) (Comment on this)
4:25 pm	HAPPY DAYS 7 POUNDS DOWN BABBY!!!! 112 O YEAH! Gah im so happy! LOVE X (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
6:40 pm	ahhh today was so nice! im so happy its summer. plus i ate like nothing! yay! im getting stronger! i find that the less i eat the less hungry i get and if i eat the smallest thing then i get even mre hungry! its annoying but im fighting it! gah going out on sat ... mst look v thin!!! Im gonna b 112 lbs by then! i can do that hopefully! LOVE (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
10:16 am	MAY DAY <3 Havent been able to post for days been with my friends the whole time!! I love them to bits but sometimes i cant tsand being with them, all they wanna do is eat wen were in town! drives me mad! So anyway today not going so good. Went into town at 3 in the morning to celebrate may day friend bort me a krispe kreme :( it was soooo annoying and i didnt wanna look ungrateful so of course i ate it plus i drank so much alcohol. does anyone know if vodka has a lot of calories? mwah darlings x x x x (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
2:28 pm	today has been the shittiest shit day eva!!! i thort being off school wud stop me from eating but noooooooooooooo! I was doing so wel and i had only eaten a bowl of special K and i wasnt plaing on eating anything else but then i cudnt help myself and i ate 2 chocolate! NOT JUST 1!!! 2!!! I kno all probs thinkin god shes so weak and i am! Im so mad at myself i cant believ i screwed it up! i feel so depressed rite now and mad! im so fucking mad! i hate it! its such a little thing and it makes me feel so mad! Im back to 119lbs again. I feel awful. i want to never eat again but i want my body to not want to ever eat again! Sori about that rant. Hope everyone is doing betta than me. x (Comment on this)
Monday, April 24th, 2006
7:01 pm	Hello girlies! hope everyones doing well! xemo_x_corex: thanku so much for your tip about the webste, it was very useful!! So today has been okay so far. Breakfast - none. Lunch - none but i had to eat dinner with my mum WATCHING ME so there was no way I could throw it away. It was just rice and steamed vedge tho so shud b ok. Mwah x x x x (Comment on this)